Who We Are: In early 2020, the Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in glittering samite, held aloft a snarky t-shirt and spoke to us, saying, “Forsooth, you. No. The heavier one. In the back. Yeah, you. I name you Online Retailer of the Nifty Things and charge you with making such nifty things available for purchase to those who are worthy.” And we knelt, overcome by this honor, and said, “Can we just sell to anyone willing to buy our stuff?” And she replied, in a voice that rang like a clear bell on a soft spring breeze, “Yeah. Whatever. Just don’t embarrass me.”
What We Do: Well, on Tuesdays, Bob likes to unwind with a quick game of lawn darts. And Inga won’t tell us exactly what she’s doing in the garage, but whatever it is, it sounds like five riding mowers going at once, and she always returns drenched in petroleum jelly. Also, Donatello does machines and Michelangelo is a party dude.
What Makes Us Different: Our moms told us we were special, and we believed it. That’s why we opened up what is obviously the only online store in existence. And because we are egotistical artsy types with short attention spans, we work to ensure that every product is a limited edition. That means it’s only available for a limited time - until supplies run out, we’re forced to discontinue it, or we just arbitrarily decide we want to replace it. That means you’ll be spared the awkward moment when six other people at a party have the same “clever” shirt as you (unless someone rips us off). The downside is that you’ll need to move quickly to secure an item before we replace it.